Christ and the Rhythm of Marriage

  

TITLE: Christ and the Rhythm of Marriage

TEXT: Colossians 3:18-19

TRUTH: Before we dive into the topic, it’s important to define marriage from a biblical perspective. Marriage is a covenant partnership designed by God between a man and a woman. Its primary purpose is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church.

 

Aristotle had developed “house codes” that directed a man on how to rule his wife, children, and slaves properly.  This was the tradition of typical Roman values. To the contrary, Paul says a husband is to love his wife, not rule her.

 

This message has two main objectives. First, to clarify the roles of husbands and wives within the biblical framework. Second, to encourage couples to cultivate a marriage that mirrors Christ’s relationship with His Church.

 

In this passage, we transition from a summary in verse 17 to specific details in verses 18 to 4:1. The text appears to follow a tripartite structure, focusing on three key relationships: marriage, family, and employment. These are the contexts in which Christians find themselves. This reflects what transformation as a new creation looks like. Those who have been reconciled and impacted by Christ’s peace have "clothed themselves with the new man, who is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of the one who created him." Those who have experienced this New Testament peace will demonstrate reconciliation and peace towards one another (3:12-15). This is how we live in light of Christ's lordship.

 

The husband-wife relationship is grounded in the order of creation (1 Cor. 11:8; 1 Tim. 2:13). The husband is to reflect the unconditional, authoritative love of Christ in relation to their wives. The wife is to reflect the church’s submissive respect for Christ in relation to her husband.

 

I.                             Wives are to reflect the church’s submission to Christ toward their husbands (18).

 

Explanation: The word “submit” (hypotaso) is the most accurate translation of this term. It appears in the middle voice, meaning "submit yourselves,” which highlights the voluntary nature of this submission. This indicates that it is not the husband's role to demand submission; rather, it is the wife’s responsibility to offer it willingly. Wives, this is an imperative—a command that you are expected to obey willingly. It’s about positioning yourself under authority. It’s not inferiority but about divine design and order.

 

In saying “It is fitting,” Paul literally means “it is necessary or proper to be harmonious with.” We could translate it this way: “Wives, be subject to your husband in a manner proper in the Lord.” This implies that submission should not only honor the husband but also reflect the church’s relation with the Lord.

 

However, the wife's submission is not blind obedience to anything that might compromise her faith or integrity. Instead, it’s about aligning oneself with a spirit of unity, love, and respect. It’s important to recognize that such a submission should stem from a heart of humility and a genuine desire for harmonious partnership.

 

A wife’s strength shines through her willingness to support and uplift her husband. Submission is not a sign of weakness; it is a badge of faith, love, and respect for the design of God. In choosing submission, a wife chooses to reflect the beauty of the church’s devotion to the Lord. True submission transforms relationships, creating a tapestry of love and understanding. Furthermore, navigating marriage with humility unlocks the door to deeper love and stronger bonds.

 

By embodying these principles, wives can foster an environment where mutual respect and love flourish, creating a lasting partnership that honors both their commitment to their husband and their devotion to God. Submission is not about losing oneself but rather about enriching the marital bond while staying true to one’s faith.

 

Christ's submission to His parents serves as a profound example of humility and respect for authority, as seen in Luke 2:51-52: “And he went down with them and was submissive to them.” Despite being the Son of God, Jesus honored His earthly parents, illustrating the importance of family structure and divine order in relationships. His willingness to submit not only demonstrated His obedience but also allowed Him to grow in wisdom and stature, showing that such submission fosters personal growth.

 

Wives, let me encourage you to cultivate a heart of humility and respect for your husbands. Take a moment to reflect on how you can support and uplift him each day. Consider practical ways to show your respect, such as encouraging words, acts of kindness, or simply prioritizing his needs.

 

 

II.                         Husbands are to reflect the unconditional love of Christ toward their wives (19).

 

Explanation: Love (agapo) is a present tense imperative, signifying that a husband's love for his wife should be constant. We are commanded to love our wives consistently. John MacArthur described this love as "a willing love, not based on emotion or passion, but rather the love of choice—covenant love." This type of love is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional, modeled for us by Christ.

 

Husbands are called to reflect the forgiving, unconditional love that Christ has for the church. This is primarily achieved through sacrificial giving, where a husband prioritizes his wife's needs above his own. A loving husband views his wife's interests as his own, fully investing in her happiness and growth. He cares for her as he cares for himself, understanding that their bond is profound since they are united as one flesh. True love is not merely a feeling; it is an unwavering commitment to uplift and protect your partner.

 

Men, your commitment to your wife demands continuous care and loving service for her overall well-being. This means being present—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—and engaging in open communication that fosters trust and connection. It involves actively supporting her dreams and aspirations, standing by her side in both triumphs and trials.

 

A husband should be a source of strength and encouragement, ensuring that his wife feels cherished and respected every day. Embrace the responsibility of nurturing a loving atmosphere in your home, one that reflects patience, kindness, and understanding. Remember, love is not about self-serving desires, but about selfless giving. Strive to be a partner who embodies grace and compassion, making every effort to reflect the profound love that Christ has for the church. By doing so, you fortify the foundation of your marriage, creating a legacy of love that transcends generations.

 

 

Husbands, remember that you are called to be the rock of love, not the storm of bitterness. Paul urges you to “stop being bitter” — let that be a daily commitment. As the saying goes, “Don’t call her honey and treat her like vinegar.” Your words should be sweet and your actions even sweeter. Embrace a spirit of kindness and understanding; love is the antidote for resentment. Make it a rule: every disagreement must be wrapped in compassion. A gentle heart builds a united home, while bitterness divides. Be the husband who nurtures, uplifts, and cherishes — because love always wins.

 

Husbands should actively prioritize their wives’ needs before their own. This can be as simple as setting aside quality time to listen to her thoughts and feelings. Additionally, helping with daily tasks or surprising her with gestures that show appreciation and affection can make a big difference. Consistently communicating love through encouraging words, acts of service, and physical affection is also important. Husbands should ensure their love reflects the selfless, sacrificial nature exemplified by Christ.

 

 

Final Thoughts

 

Marriage is about creating rhythm. Just as the rhythm in music requires harmony and coordination, so does a marriage thrive on the interplay between submission and love. Each spouse’s role enhances the other’s: submission breeds love, and love cultivates a willingness to submit. A couple reflecting Christ in their relationship strengthens not only their bond but also their testimonies to others. A marriage anchored in Christ not only thrives but also serves as a testimony to the world of God’s love and order.

 

Ask God for strength, wisdom, and the grace to fulfill these roles. Gather in prayer and seek these together.