Sacred Bond
Sermon On The Mount- 12
TITLE: Sacred Bond
TEXT: Matthew 5:31-32
TONE: Warning
TARGET: Both
TASK: To help my hearers understand the sacred bond of marriage and to warn them against divorce.
TEACH: It is not true that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce today. After extensive statistical research and analysis, social researcher Shaunti Feldhahn reported, “According to one of the most recent census bureau surveys, 72 percent of people who have ever been married are still married to their first spouse -and the remaining 28 percent are not all divorced persons, because the total includes those who have been widowed through the death of a spouse, a category that accounts for perhaps as many as 8 percent. That suggests that somewhere around 20 to 25 percent of first marriages end in divorce. So, the truth is, most marriages last a lifetime, rather than that half of marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate is even lower for those that attend church.[1]
TRUTH: Below are seven biblical principles about marriage and divorce that will serve us well as we get started.
Number 1 – Marriage is the sacred union between one man and one woman and God’s intention is for marriage to last a lifetime.
Number 2 – Divorce is not always sinful.
Number 3 – Divorce is permitted but not required on the ground of sexual immorality.
Number 4 – Divorce is permitted but not required on the ground of desertion by an unbelieving spouse.
Number 5 – When the divorce was not permissible, any subsequent remarriage (other than to each other) results in adultery.
Number 6 – In situations where the divorce was permissible, remarriage is also permissible.
Number 7 – Improperly divorced and remarried Christians should stay as they are but repent and be forgiven of their past sins and make whatever amends are necessary.[2]
Understand that when discussing sensitive topics like divorce, listeners come with diverse perspectives and experiences. Some of you may be simply curious as your marriage is thriving, and you're interested in the teachings on this subject. Others might have experienced divorce personally or know someone who has. You may be divorced, divorced and remarried, part of a blended family, or navigating life as a single parent. Our congregation includes all these various situations. Therefore, I encourage you to explore the sermon in its entirety to gain a comprehensive understanding.
To truly honor the text, it's essential for a preacher to convey not only the content of the passage but also its mood and tone. When discussing sensitive topics like divorce, it's important to approach them with both compassion and truth. There are times when it's necessary to speak with tenderness and empathy, especially to those who have experienced divorce through no fault of their own, offering reassurance of God's love and forgiveness. This approach is not only appropriate but also vital in conveying the full message of the passage.
In this passage, Jesus issues a solemn warning to those who view divorce as inconsequential. He speaks directly to the cultural and religious mindset of the time, challenging the perception that divorce is a trivial matter. Jesus emphasizes its significance, just as He cautioned His disciples about the dangers of anger and lust. His message serves as an admonition to His followers and the surrounding crowd, urging them to avoid divorce and understand its profound implications.
Therefore, if my aim is to resonate with Jesus' intent, it is vital to emphasize the seriousness of this warning about divorce. At the same time, I am mindful that individuals come from diverse backgrounds and have different experiences. It's important to communicate this message with compassion and understanding, acknowledging the unique situations people might encounter, while staying true to the essence of Jesus' teaching. This approach helps to ensure that the message is both impactful and empathetic, providing guidance that honors the complexity of real-life situations.
Our outline is simple. Jesus confronted His hearers with two potential failures. First, they overlooked the gravity of divorce, and two, they failed to consider the far-reaching consequences of divorce. That’s what His disciples needed to hear about divorce and I am quite confident it is what we still need to hear about divorce.
I. They Overlooked the Gravity of Divorce
Explanation: "Verse 31 loosely refers to Deuteronomy 24:1. Jesus, throughout this section, clarifies that He is not overturning the Mosaic Law. Instead, He highlights how oral traditions and surrounding teachings have deviated from its true intent. When He begins with 'It was said to you' and cites Scripture, He's not disputing the Scriptures themselves but addressing the misinterpretations and misapplications that have developed over time. This will become evident shortly."
So turn to Deuteronomy, chapter 24, verse 1. This is the instruction in the Mosaic Law relative to divorce. Like many things in the Old Testament that were not ideal, they were still regulated, and here we have laws concerning divorce. Verse 1, Deuteronomy 24.
The bill of divorce was a protection for the woman; a capricious husband could not drive her from his home and afterward claim that she was still his wife. He must give her the document that set out her right to marry someone else. It was accepted throughout Judaism that a man was entitled to divorce his wife (the procedure is given in Deut. 24:1–4). A wife was not permitted to divorce her husband, though she could petition the court, and if her plea was accepted the court would direct the husband to divorce her.[3]
The rabbi said a man must give her a certificate of divorce if adultery took place. Many rabbis thought divorce was permissible for even relatively trivial offenses. You see verse 1, the key phrase that was debated among the rabbis, is there translated in the ESV, “He has found some indecency,” some indecency, or something indecent. In Hebrew it’s the phrase “er-wat dabar.” “Er-wat” can literally be translated “nakedness” and “dabar” means “word” or “matter” or “thing.” A matter of nakedness. Or translated here, something indecent, something suggestive of a sexual nature.
"The term 'er-wat dabar' generally refers to something repulsive, defiling, or indecent. Due to its inherent ambiguity, two rabbinical schools developed different interpretations. On the conservative side was the Shammai school, named after the notable Rabbi Shammai. Conversely, the more liberal interpretation came from the school of Hillel. Although the distinctions between these schools were formally recorded after Jesus' time, notably in the Mishnah, both perspectives were widely recognized during His period."
Here’s what the Mishnah, which is a later document of rabbinical sources, says: “The school of Shammai says a man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her, for it is written because he hath found in her indecency in anything.” Indecency in anything. That’s a reference to Deuteronomy 24:1, so that’s the school of Shammai interpreting Deuteronomy 24:1 as unchastity.
The Mishnah continues: “The school of Hillel says he may divorce her even if she spoiled a dish for him, for it is written because he hath found in her indecency in anything.”
Both schools are quoting from the same verse in Deuteronomy 24:1, er-wat dabar, something indecent. The Hillel school went so far as to say burning a piece of toast, spoiling a dish, not doing the food correctly, could be construed as something indecent and would give the man a right to file for a certificate of divorce. That was the much more liberal, permissive school of rabbis. The Shammai school was much more restrictive.
Jesus says clearly, “That is not so. Divorce is not permissible for every reason. It is not required for any reason.”
Jesus says, now go back to Matthew chapter 5, “But I say to you… ” Now understanding that context and the rabbinical dispute, throws into context what Jesus is saying: “But I say to you that everyone divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.” So Jesus here allows for one exception. Now later in the epistles Paul allows for a second exception, which is the desertion of an unbelieving spouse,
But let’s deal what Jesus says here: “Except on the ground of sexual immorality.” There’s that Greek word, “porneia,” from which we get our word “pornography.” So broadly speaking, all manner of sexual immorality, that is an allowance, but not a requirement, an allowance for divorce.
Why sexual sin in particular? Sexual sin is grounds for divorce because the act of sexual intimacy is the oath signing, the ratification, of the covenant of marriage.
II. They Failed to Consider the Far-Reaching Consequences of Divorce.
Explanation: With the emphatic But I say to you Jesus moves to his own understanding of the position. For him marriage was intended to be a lifelong union of one man and one woman, and it was not to be dissolved lightly. He recognizes that a matter of fornication is a reason for divorce, and tells his hearers that divorce for any other reason is invalid (cf. Mal. 2:16). A man who divorces his wife and thus, in a Jewish situation, compels her to marry someone else (in first-century Jewish society how else could she live?) makes her an adulteress.[4]
Why that logic, Jesus? If a divorce is considered illegitimate, then by extension, any subsequent remarriage is also deemed illegitimate. While the legal status of divorce may be recognized, it does not align with the ideal intention of the covenant. Therefore, entering into a new marriage under these circumstances equates to engaging in a relationship that is akin to adultery.
This situation brings up many complex issues, particularly regarding what one should do if they find themselves in a marriage resulting from what was considered an illegitimate divorce. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul advises individuals to 'remain as you are.' This suggests that mistakes, even those made before becoming a Christian, need not necessarily be undone. Instead, Paul emphasizes the importance of caution against divorce, to prevent individuals or their former spouses from entering into relationships that could be perceived as adulterous through remarriage.
If a marriage bond was not legitimately dissolved, entering into a new marriage is considered adultery. Remarriage is allowed in situations where divorce is justified, or where a spouse has passed away, as indicated in both the Old Testament and 1 Corinthians 7. However, if the divorce was not valid, then remarrying is not permitted, and doing so is equivalent to committing adultery.
Jesus would have us think of the serious ramifications. You have to think not only of your sin, but the sin you may be causing others to commit because of your sin. That’s how seriously Jesus treats the sexual act within marriage.
Divorce can have a wide range of far-reaching consequences that affect not only the individuals involved but also their families, communities, and even society as a whole.
1. Emotional and Psychological Effects: Divorce can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, depression, and a sense of loss or failure for both partners. Children of divorced parents may also experience emotional challenges, including confusion, insecurity and feelings of abandonment.
2. Financial Impact: Divorce often results in the division of assets can lead to financial strain on both parties. The costs associated with legal proceedings, combined with the need to maintain two separate households, can significantly impact financial stability
3. Impact on Children: Children may face long-term effects, including academic challenges and behavioral issues. They may also experience difficulties in forming their own intimate relationships in the future.
4. Social Consequences: Social circles and friendships can change or become strained after a divorce. Individuals may experience isolation or lose mutual friends, impacting their social support networks.
5. Legal and Custodial Issues: Ongoing legal battles over custody, visitation rights, and child support can be stressful and may continue for years, affecting relationships between ex-spouses and their children.
6. Effects on Extended Family: Relationships with extended family, such as in-laws, can be strained or severed, impacting familial support systems and traditions.
7. Health Consequences: The stress of divorce can lead to physical health issues, such as weakened immune systems, increased risk of chronic conditions, and mental health struggles.
8. Cultural and Societal Impact: Divorce can shift cultural norms and societal views on marriage, potentially influencing future generations' perspectives on relationships and commitment.
I truly believe this is why God hates divorce, but not all divorces in general, because some are permitted but he hates the consequences of all divorce.
While the consequences of divorce can be challenging, it's also essential to recognize that, in some cases, divorce may lead to positive outcomes, such as personal growth, improved mental health, and the opportunity for a healthier environment for both parents and children.
What about perpetual adultery?
Jesus is saying that the act of remarriage is an act of adultery. He is not teaching that the ongoing conjugal relationship with the new spouse is a state of “perpetual adultery”--as if God refused to recognize the remarriages legitimate in any sense.
If that were the case--if the ongoing physical relationship between the remarried couple constituted one long, continuous, adulterous affair—the proper remedy, and the only way to end the chain of adultery, would be to dissolve the second marriage and insist that everyone return to his or her original spouse. On the contrary, Scripture teaches that the new marriage is now binding. In order to avoid further acts of adultery, the remarried person needs to remain faithful to the new spouse.[5]
So Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 (and Mark 10:11-12) mean simply that entering into an illegitimate remarriage is an adulterous act. Nevertheless, once that new marriage covenant is sealed, the remarried couple needs to remain married and be faithful to one another. Their ongoing physical relationship is not to be thought of as “perpetual adultery.”
On the other hand, as long as they remain unrepentant about the illegitimate remarriage, they cannot expect God’s blessing on their marriage. Like all sins, that unauthorized remarriage must be confessed and repented of.
But people who have entered into such a relationship do need to seek God’s forgiveness with sincere repentance.
TAKE-AWAY:
1. Remember Your Covenant before God
2. Commit to the Work of Marital Faithfulness
3. Seek Pastoral Care and Church Accountability
[1] Wayne Grudem, Christian Ethics (Wheaton: Crossway 2018), 800.
[2] https://christcovenant.org/sermons/the-danger-of-divorce/
[3] Leon Morris, The Gospel according to Matthew, The Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans; Inter-Varsity Press, 1992), 120.
[4] Leon Morris, The Gospel according to Matthew, The Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans; Inter-Varsity Press, 1992), 121.
[5] John McArthur, https://www.gty.org/library/questions/QA518/are-people-who-remarry-in-danger-of-committing-perpetual-adultery
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